Have you noticed how easy it is to describe precisely the things we do not want but how difficult it can be to describe precisely what we do want?
I see it all the time when helping people to get the life they want….
People can talk for hours about what they hate about their lives…. They can tell you all about their past failed relationships, what they hate about their jobs, all the things they went through ……etc…. but when I ask them what they do want…. What does the life they dream of look like…. I always get answers such as “I just want a healthy relationship” or “I just want to be happy in my job”….. But if I dig deeper and ask what is a “healthy relationship” for you? And what exactly would make you happy in your job?….. most of the time, I’m staring at a blank face……
Why? Because we spend too much time thinking about our troubles and how much we want to get them out of the way…… and we spend way too little time figuring out in detail what we really want to achieve.
You have probably heard of “The Secret” and its main concept: Ask the universe what you want and the universe will give it to you!
For most “rational” people…. This doesn’t make any sense…. And it even sounds a bit creepy…
So I’m going to try and make it as rational as possible.
Think about the last time you decided to buy a car. You have done your research and you settled for one particular model of car which you think would perfectly meet all your requirements. You give yourself a few days to think about it…. And suddenly, it’s like the world gets filled with that particular car…. You see it everywhere you go!!!!
Rings a bell?
Now, do you really think this is a sign you should buy that car? That the universe is giving you its blessing? …. That’s debatable….
What happens is that your brain makes you notice all the little things that will validate your reality. At this precise moment, you were focusing on buying a new car and therefore your brain was helping you notice the pieces of information related to that area of focus.
There is so much information to handle at every given time around you…. you would get massive headaches and burnouts if your brain was making you aware of all of them at all times! Instead, your brain is acting as a filter, and is making you notice the information relevant to what you seem to be interested in.
Now that you understand that, just imagine what would happen if you had a very clear idea of what you want in life? Undoubtedly, you will start noticing people, opportunities, events, objects that will validate your area of focus….. you will consciously or unconsciously start gravitating around everything that can make it come to reality….. and surely, you will have more chances to make your vision come true!
Does that make sense?
The thing is…. Our lives are busy, overwhelming…. We constantly have to deal with responsibilities, emergencies, time wasters, distractions…etc…. How can you possibly focus on what you really want in life when all those things constantly get in the way?????
Well, the same way you remember birthdays and doctor appointments….. You set up REMINDERS! Visual reminders…. oral reminders… written reminders…. Whatever works for you!
If you are not sure where to start, you are in luck….Here are 2 great tools to keep your brain aware of what you should be focusing on!
1) Your Vision Board
What is it?
A tool that will help you clarify, visualize, concentrate and maintain focus on your goals. It is literally a board filed with pictures, sentences, words..etc, representing all the specific details of the life (or the goals) you want to achieve. It is a very fun and easy way to turn general desires into specific and achievable goals.
Once completed, this board needs to appear in front of your eyes every single day….. so it is your choice to place it on your bedroom wall, on your Facebook cover picture, or as a screen saver on your computer or your phone….. It will then act as a constant reminder to your brain….. a reminder to make you notice the pieces of information in your reality that relate to your goals.
Want to know how to create Your Vision Board? click here
2) Your Bucket List
What is it?
It is a list of all the experiences and achievements you hope to accomplish in your lifetime. It is a list that precisely describes your personal guideline to self-improvement. It can include many categories such as travel, health, education, career, family and much more! It usually contains a minimum of 100 items. Obviously, your list should be revisited and renewed on a regular basis.
Want to know how to create Your Bucket List? click here
Emeline Omont / Founder, MomentuM Coaching & Consulting